Season 2, Episode 2: Carnival

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Read Season One from the beginning here.

A carnival came to town and Dean decided it was the perfect outing to spend some time with his mother, Mary.

"All right, I'm gonna win that bear for you, Mom."  Dean pointed out a fuzzy, stuffed pink teddy bear.

Mary grinned.  "Oh yeah?  Show me what you got,"  she challenged.

Dean paid the worker...

...Who set up the first frog.

Dean took his shot.

Bullseye!

Mary was thoroughly enjoying herself.  She cheered and clapped.  "Whoo, that's my boy!"  she yelled as Dean launched the second frog at the target.  

The second frog hit the center of its target, too.

"Here, Mom, you have a turn,"  Dean suggested as the carnie set up the last frog.  

"Yeah!  Go, Mom!"   

Mary's frog hit the bullseye.  Mother and son both cheered.

Dean pulled out his phone and threw his arm around Mary to snap a photo.  "I want to remember this day always,"  he told her.  Having his mother cheer for him gave Dean a sense of euphoria.  He was way too old for Little League, but he imagined the feeling of being loved and encouraged was the same.  

"Mom!  Look, Mom!  I'm going to win you a llama."

"Oh yeah?"  Mary teased, grinning.  "Well, I'm gonna win you a llama."  

"You're on,"  said Dean.  

A little while later...

"Did I do good?"  Mary grinned.  "Do you like your llama?"

"Are you kidding?"  Dean held up the stuffed toy, the better for Mary to appreciate it.  "I love it."

"How about you, Mom?"  

"It's the best llama ever, Dean."  

And it really was, Dean thought, large enough for a child to ride on and ridiculously fluffy.  It wasn't that the prizes were any better than ordinary carnival prizes, either, he noted with pride.  Most of the kids running around were carrying junk,  gaudy rings or bracelets or incredibly cheap plastic toys.  A few lucky ones had small stuffed animals.  The Winchesters were just that good:  both at spotting the games where the carnies were running cheats that made winning impossible, or when it came to the games that were fair, at marksmanship.  

The day continued in the same way, winning silly childish prizes and gorging themselves on carnival food.  It was just pure fun.  Spending time with Mary was the best part, Dean thought, and without having to worry about any looming crises the Winchesters would have to solve to save the world.  

"Your dad and I took you to a carnival like this,"  Mary said.  "You were probably too young to remember."

"No, I remember,"  Dean said.  "Dad won a teddy bear for me, and one for Sam, and he won a little glass elephant figurine for you."

Mary's expression softened and Dean could tell his words had transported her back in time.  "I'm amazed you remember that," she said after a moment.  

"Sam wasn't even born yet;  I was pregnant.  Your dad was so proud to win those teddy bears,"  Mary reminisced.  

Dean remembered clutching his prize, riding high on John's shoulders through the crowd, gawking at the colored lights.

"Of course, I had to pretend I didn't know how to shoot,"  Mary chuckled.  

The happy memories evaporated.  Of course Dean had sensed the tension between his parents.  He'd suspected its cause, too.  John had had no idea that Mary had been raised as a hunter.  She'd never told him about the supernatural world.  

"That's not funny,"  he said.  

Mary's brows drew down in a frown of confusion as she picked up on Dean's sudden change of mood.  

"Mom, why?"  Dean couldn't fully control his voice.  It cracked on the question.  "Why didn't you tell Dad the truth?"

"Tell him about the supernatural?  I couldn't.  You have to understand, all I wanted was to get out of hunting.  I just wanted a normal life."

"I wouldn't know what that's like,"  Dean said.  Part of him wanted to just let it go, to reclaim the carefree, happy atmosphere they'd shared just moments ago.  But part of him wanted to lash out, to make his mother feel a fraction of the pain her family had endured.  

"Sam and I, we never got to have normal lives,"  he went on doggedly.  "Sam tried, you know.   He did.  He even got out for a couple of years, went to college.  You know how that ended:  demons killed the girl he loved."

Mary looked crushed.  He'd hurt her, just as he'd wanted to, but it just made Dean feel even worse.  

"I don't know what to say.  Dean, I never, ever meant to hurt you and Sam!  Or your dad!"

"I know you didn't, Mom.  I understand,"  Dean told her.  "I've made deals with demons.  I've put the people I loved in danger, too."  He didn't want to hurt her, he realized belatedly.  He just wanted her to understand.  

"Mom, when you died, I didn't just lose you.  I lost Dad, too.  He never got over what happened to you."    

"I couldn't just be Sammy's big brother.  I had to be his mother and father both, and I--"  Dean's voice broke.  He could feel the tears gathering on his eyelashes, tears of shame he still couldn't shake, even after so many years.  

"I couldn't do it, Mom, no matter how hard I tried!  I was just a kid myself!"  Dean said the words it had taken him years to accept.  He hadn't been a failure.  The job was just too hard, way too much to expect from a child.  

"It wasn't fair."  

"I'm so sorry."  Mary's face was wet with tears.  Her own voice cracked as she said,  "You must hate me."

"Sometimes I did hate you,"  Dean admitted.  "But I love you.  I can't help it.  You're my mom!"  He pulled Mary into a hug.  

"Mom, I forgive you."

Dean held his mother until his tears and hers subsided.  

"I love you, Mom.  Let's go home."  

"I love you, Dean!"

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Note:  Dean's heart-to-heart with Mary is paraphrased from dialogue taken directly from the Supernatural script.  The scene never happened for my version of the characters because Mary died before that episode took place.  I softened it a little bit because "my" Mary didn't get the chance to make some of the poor choices the writers of the show had her make.  I still thought it was an important conversation that Dean should have with his mom.  Thank you for reading!

Epilogue:

"I want a duck!"

"No."  

"I want a duck!"  

"No."  

"I want cotton candy."  

"No."  

"Gimmee cotton candy!"  

"No.  You'll rot your teeth."

"I want a hot dog, dammit!"  

"No.  And watch your goddamn mouth."

"I wanna play on your phone!"   

"No!"

Ashley tried approaching one of the other kids at the carnival.  "Give me a balloon."   

"No.  They're mine."

Well, that just wasn't fair.  She had a whole bunch of balloons.  She ought to share!  Almost before the thought had formed in his mind, Ashley grabbed the balloons and took off running.

"Mommy!  He took my balloons!"

"For heaven's sake, control your child!"

"Why you little... Get back here!"

Ashley heard adult voices raised in anger, but he ignored them and kept running.

...But his oma caught him.  Ashley kicked and yelled but she held on tight.  Then, "Oops,"  Ashley murmured.   He'd been so busy struggling, he'd forgotten to hold on to the balloons.

"No!"  Ashley yelled.  

"I hate you,  you bad boy!"

"That kid is a maniac,"  the little girl's mother yelled.  

"Bite me,"  Oma muttered.

"I need a cigarette, dammit."

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